zeroZeroFlash features stand-alone flash fiction on their site. Today they published my “Forget-Me-Pops” piece. Probably the most fun I ever had on a job was writing radio spots for an ad agency in Santa Barbara, California. F-M-P is a throwback to those days.

Update: as of 12/9/16, the piece is nearly a mile of screen-scroll down the page. For your convenience, for your enjoyment:


by DL Shirey

The pulse of electronica ends in a diaphanous swirl, the last reverberating echo lingers and fades. The radio voice has a too-cool-for-this-gig delivery and he starts his post-out with a growl, elongating the word to match the musical dregs:

“Weeeeeeee’re spinning more of club scene’s favorite synthsongs on KRDO. Another ten in a row, after this word from our sponsor.”

The jingle has an old-timey feel and the male singer croons a strange, nasally falsetto:

Welcome to your best day yet,
Oh what a feeling it is to forget.
All those thoughts that used to make me sad,
Disappeared with the breakfast I just had.

A woman’s voice blends; harmonizing, cartoon-like:

With my bowl of Forget-Me-Pops,
Good times they just never, never stop.
Tastes great and nutritious too,
I will never forget about you.
Sweety, crunchy, Forget-Me-Pops.
Sweety, crunchy, Forget-Me-Pops.

“Recommended by the Council on Good Mental Health and part of your healthy breakfast, Forget-Me-Pops are delicious, crispy corn Os and oaty Xs, slightly sweetened with a frosty glaze of cloptrazemol. Forget all the bad, remember the good with every spoonful, every morning. Forget-Me-Pops.”

I will never forget about you,
Sweety, crunchy, Forget-Me-Pops.


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