I asked ChatGPT to proofread a story. It was originally published in 2019 by Reflex Fiction.

There are three errors that I purposely inserted to see if The Machine would catch them. Strike-through text highlights the mistakes in the story.

I apologize in advance. The story is quite sad but 100% made up. Pure fiction.

As you may know, I have a thing about lists, so it seems appropriate to put ChatGPT through its paces, listwise. Let’s start with Santa Claus and his flying reindeer.

I know that Rudolph was not in the original poem, so I asked The Machine to brief me on the list of reindeer names.

Prompt
The names of Santa’s reindeer have evolved over the years. In list form, tell me their names through history.

NOTE: the result was a voluminous text outlining the history of reindeer names, plus a summary paragraph that got to the point of my question. I’ll spare you the wordy rhetoric and share the bulleted recap.

Dear Editors,
Your Lit Mags and Journals are probably being infiltrated with GPT-partnered stories or AI-plagiarized writing. It’s becoming a problem.

For writers like myself who produce original work, please consider using one of the tools listed below to help detect derivative content. You are one of the last lines of defense to keep creative writing pure.

NOTE: In previous posts I used ChatGPT to aid in research. This time, however, The Machine told me:

ChatGPT
As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021, there weren't any widely available websites or apps specifically designed to detect AI-generated text like ChatGPT. However, the landscape of AI and NLP tools and services is constantly evolving, so it's possible that new tools or platforms may have emerged since then.

This is a photo of a Halloween ornament named “The Mansion on Ravenwood Lane,” a holiday decoration produced by Hallmark in 2004. This has nothing to do with my ChatGPT inquiry, except that it does. Information about this collectible exits on Wikipedia.

It seems ChatGPT is quite capable of generating endless stories. But original ones? Not so much; at least in this case. I outlined the parameters of a story The Machine was to write. I do not mention that the elements are taken from the Hasbro board game Clue.

Prompt
Write an original murder mystery that takes place in an old house. Select one each from the suspects, weapons, and locations listed below to include in the story.
Suspects: Mrs. White, Mrs. Peacock, Professor Plum, Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Mr. Green.
Weapons: Knife, Revolver, Rope, Wrench, Candlestick, Lead Pipe.
Locations: Ball Room, Billiard Room, Conservatory, Dining Room, Hall, Kitchen, Lounge, Library, Study.

The result was a story The Machine titled “The Enigmatic Echo.”

Conan O’Brien once tweeted, “Analogies are the metaphors of similes.” Of the three, it’s hard to tell if Conan has a favorite, but mine are metaphors. They are essential when I write, providing unique ways to express thoughts and add richness and variety.

A metaphor is a way to describe something by comparing it to something else, like saying “Her smile is a ray of sunshine” to mean her smile is bright and cheerful. Using a good metaphor can enhance understanding by connecting abstract concepts to more familiar ones, making complex ideas more accessible.

As I’ve stated previously, I’m starting to use ChatGPT for minor writing tasks, not major text generation. Brainstorming metaphors sounds like a perfect chore for ChatGPT to help soup up a second draft.

Prompt
Come up with 10 metaphors for “your pants are too tight”