During the pandemic, my wife took up the piano. She played as a youth and was refreshing her skills, practicing diligently every day. I was hearing a lot of piano and was inspired to write this story. Published in Ink Pantry.
Something Clicked
Author: DL Shirey
DL Shirey writes from Portland, Oregon, where it's probably raining. His short stories and non-fiction appear in over 60 publications, including including Confingo, Page & Spine, Zetetic and Wild Musette. You can find more of his writing at www.dlshirey.com and @dlshirey on Twitter.
Learning to Draw
My sister is an artist and my father could have been. I never got the gene. This nonfiction piece exemplifies why it is better that I write than draw. Originally published in July 2022 by Potato Soup Journal, which, unfortunately, is no longer published.
Learning to Draw
by DL Shirey
An art teacher once called me retarded. She was criticizing my drawing, but I took the adjective personally.
To be fair, this was in the late 1980s, long before political correctness disallowed that pejorative term for the developmentally disabled. Back then, the word wasn’t necessarily used to describe someone’s abilities, but as criticism for a task poorly done. A half-hearted attempt to make a bed, for instance, could be called retarded if the sheets were lumpy and the blankets hung askew. This condemnation did double-duty, disparaging the bed itself, as well as the person who made it.
Continue readingDeath of Santa Claus
‘Tis the season to be jolly? Maybe not. In this short story, the North Pole denizens must deal with the demise of their fabled leader. Published in the anthology “Christmas Across Time, Volume Three.” Now available on Amazon.
Bloom
No one believes this, but I have witnesses. This short story was finished just a few weeks before COVID was unleashed upon the world. Ask anyone in my writing group.
Prescient though this story may have been, publishing it has been problematic. Didn’t matter that this one had hyperbaric chambers, Elvis impersonators and a dog named Mr. Doodles, there were too many stories of plague and pandemic to go around. Now that the world has tilted back toward its axis, the good folks at Black Sheep Magazine (on Amazon exclusively) bring you my tale in issue #3.
Proofreading
I asked ChatGPT to proofread a story. It was originally published in 2019 by Reflex Fiction.
There are three errors that I purposely inserted to see if The Machine would catch them. Strike-through text highlights the mistakes in the story.
I apologize in advance. The story is quite sad but 100% made up. Pure fiction.
Continue readingMaking a list, checking it twice
As you may know, I have a thing about lists, so it seems appropriate to put ChatGPT through its paces, listwise. Let’s start with Santa Claus and his flying reindeer.
I know that Rudolph was not in the original poem, so I asked The Machine to brief me on the list of reindeer names.
Prompt
The names of Santa’s reindeer have evolved over the years. In list form, tell me their names through history.
NOTE: the result was a voluminous text outlining the history of reindeer names, plus a summary paragraph that got to the point of my question. I’ll spare you the wordy rhetoric and share the bulleted recap.
Continue readingA Letter to Editors
Dear Editors,
Your Lit Mags and Journals are probably being infiltrated with GPT-partnered stories or AI-plagiarized writing. It’s becoming a problem.
For writers like myself who produce original work, please consider using one of the tools listed below to help detect derivative content. You are one of the last lines of defense to keep creative writing pure.
NOTE: In previous posts I used ChatGPT to aid in research. This time, however, The Machine told me:
ChatGPT As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021, there weren't any widely available websites or apps specifically designed to detect AI-generated text like ChatGPT. However, the landscape of AI and NLP tools and services is constantly evolving, so it's possible that new tools or platforms may have emerged since then.Continue reading
Partners
To contradict the accompanying photo, this story takes place during UNhappy Hour. A bar, yes. Happy, no. This tale has one of the more disgusting scenes I’ve ever written– in a good, horror story kind of way. You’ll know it when you read it. And you can read it at Idle Ink.
Behind Schedule
Blink-Ink #52 is out. If that wasn’t exciting enough, my 50-word microfiction “Behind Schedule” is in it. 25 more tiny tales are also shoeboxed in this peewee publication. Subscribe today, that way you won’t miss out on a single mini masterpiece.
ChatGPT Doesn’t Have a Clue
This is a photo of a Halloween ornament named “The Mansion on Ravenwood Lane,” a holiday decoration produced by Hallmark in 2004. This has nothing to do with my ChatGPT inquiry, except that it does. Information about this collectible exits on Wikipedia.
It seems ChatGPT is quite capable of generating endless stories. But original ones? Not so much; at least in this case. I outlined the parameters of a story The Machine was to write. I do not mention that the elements are taken from the Hasbro board game Clue.
Prompt Write an original murder mystery that takes place in an old house. Select one each from the suspects, weapons, and locations listed below to include in the story. Suspects: Mrs. White, Mrs. Peacock, Professor Plum, Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Mr. Green. Weapons: Knife, Revolver, Rope, Wrench, Candlestick, Lead Pipe. Locations: Ball Room, Billiard Room, Conservatory, Dining Room, Hall, Kitchen, Lounge, Library, Study.
The result was a story The Machine titled “The Enigmatic Echo.”
Continue reading
DL Shirey 